09 December 2009

This could get me to convert to Mormonism.

Naw, I don't mean Orgazmo is my local Mormon Missionary. No it seems that if you become a Mormon and go through all the stuff Mormons believe you can have Polygamous sex in heaven for all eternity!

The Best bit is that through retroactive baptism that you have all the benefits of Mormonism in the afterlife! It seems that if you are retroactively baptised (my info is at the Mormon Church) that you will be given a choice when you are dead. So, if you are in Hell, you can say: "you bet your ass I'll be a Mormon."

I imagine Hell is filled with assholes like Jerry Falwelll and similar fundamentalist shitheads.

I mean hot polygamous Sex with Mrs. Fields for all eternity! Hell, that's better than having Orgazmo as your Mormon Missionary!

Shit, she should get out there and spread the word as a missionary that Heaven is an eternity of hot polygamous sex if you're a Mormon! You bet your ass it is, toots!

I'll nibble her cookies for the rest of eternity!

Now, where do I sign up to become a Mormon?

Also, Will Mitt Romney reveal this bit of Mormon doctrine when he runs in 2012? There might be a renewed interest in the Mormon Church if they do.

And you thought the Osmonds were squeaky clean! Ha!