Rude Christmas Carols!

While shepherds washed their cocks by night
While watching ITV
the angel of the Lord came down
and switched to BBC.


To the tune of The Twelve Days of Christmas. Obscene actions go with each verse.

On the first day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
A hand job that wasn't worth fuck.

On the second day of Christmas,
My true love gave to me,
Two shit house doors,
And a hand job that wasn't worth a fuck.

Three French whores...
Four calling girls...
Five golden showers...
Six sixty-niners...
Seven sleazy sisters...
Eight aching assholes...
Nine knawed-off nipples..
Ten tons of titties...
Eleven leaping lesbians
Twelve twats a-twitching...