29 October 2009

I really don't understand baseball

TO be honest, I've gone to the far ends of the world to avoid anything dealing with the superbowl (yeah, I know, wrong sport, but...) only to have it rear its head on the shortwave news.

Likewise, Baseball makes no sense to me. It's called rounders. Although rounders is assumed to be older than baseball (alleged to date back to Tudor times), literary references to early forms of "base-ball" in England pre-date use of the term "rounders". The earliest reference being in 1745 in A Little Pretty Pocket-Book where it is called "baseball". That calls into question its claim of being an "American" sport (So, It IS as American as apple pie, which is Dutch).

The world series is totally misnamed since it only involves teams from North America: Unsually from the United States, but I understand there are Canadian baseball teams. Someday, there may be Japanese teams, but that will probably be a long way off.

If the Japanese beat the Yanks at baseball, then the US will develop another national sport.

Needless to say, I prefer cricket test matches and World Cup Football to baseball.

Anyway, I digress from the real topic at hand: it seems that Bensalem police arrested a woman for prostitution. She is alleged to have offered sex for world series tickets.

Normally, I'd be ignorant of such things and prefer it to be that way, but this has exploded into an international news story. The basic gist is that Finklestein:
Described herself as a "Diehard Phillies fan" and "gorgeous tall buxom blonde," Finkelstein said she was "in desperate need" of two tickets to see the Phillies play the Yankees at Citizens Bank Park.

Then came the zinger: "Price negotiable -- I'm the creative type! Maybe we can help each other!"

The actual ad was placed in the "for sale/wanted section" not the adult section:
Date: 2009-10-26, 3:36PM EDT
Reply to: sale-zafz2-1438649356@craigslist.org

Diehard Phillies fan -- gorgeous tall buxom blonde -- in desperate need of two World Series tickets. Price negotiable -- I'm the creative type! Maybe we c...an help each other!


Location: Philadelphia
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 1438649356

Does that sound like solicitation to you? I don't see any offers of sex and the ad was in the section for Tix on Craigslist!

Are these Bensalem Cops Yankees fans and just being jerks?

The short term outcome is that Radio DJ Chio from Wired 96.5 gave two tickets to Finkelstein and her husband explaining that anyone who was that despirate deserved tickets to see the game.

I hope the long term outcome is as good for Ms. Finklestein.

Let's say I'm closer to this story than I would like to be...

But my basic comment is that once one leaves Philadelphia (or Pittsburgh), one finds the police and district attorneys have too much time on their hands. Especially in Bucks County, This is a place where they once had a three day Jury trial for squeezing bread.

You think I'm joking:
Commonwealth v. Feldman, CP-09-CR-0003020-2000 and CP-09-CR-0003021-2000,(aka “Bucks County Bread Squeezer”): Client was originally charged with Felony criminal mischief for allegedly destroying thousands of dollars of bread and cookies in a supermarket in Yardley, PA. Client was found not guilty by jury of all criminal charges, sentenced by the judge for summary violation to pay $500.00 fine. Received worldwide coverage from the Associated Press and Newsweek Magazine and story was on all 4 local news stations, CNN and the Court Channel.

Bucks county has had a lot of problems with Cereal killers as well. cereal murder (or breakfast murder) is defined in Bucks County as the killing of one breakfast food item by another, or the killing of one cereal mascot by another. It can also describe human-on-cereal murder, animal-on-cereal murder, or inanimate-object-on-cereal murder.

Notorious Convicted Bucks County Cereal Killers are:

* Cornelius (Corn Flakes rooster)

Evidently, Cornelius got into a very brief cockfight with one of the Freakies from the Freakies cereal. Cornelius creditied his win to his large talons, and the use of the Filipino curved blade.
Kelloggs profited massively from the illegal fight by betting big money on Cornelius to win. Some say that the fight was fixed, and that Kelloggs is to blame.

* Dig 'Em Frog, for his spooning to death generic mascots, was turned into a pure gold statue in Quahog, Rhode Island.

Some of the more famous yet unsung cereal killers were actually mob bosses for the Kelloggs:

* Snap, Crackle and Pop
* Tony the Tiger
* Captain Crunch
* Calliou
* Ed, Edd n Eddy
* Toucan Sam

Seriously, the word around the court house is that Bucks County has a crime problem in that it lacks any significant crime such that they have to troll Craigs List to make work for themselves.

There's a rumour that Bucks County may actually set up a humourous crime squad to chase down craig's list jokers, bread squeezers, Cereal Killers, and people who put jelly in other people's shoes!

In the mean time, stay tuned for more trials of Cereal Murderers in Bucks County, PA! Maybe they might actually go after some of those Meth Labs they have up there!